marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
