I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
