I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Don't EVER smell your tampon
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
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