I'm sorry my penis didn't work
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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