He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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