afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
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