2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
