i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
