Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize