Pants 0. Shit 1.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
