just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize