I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
