hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
