I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
