Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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