Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
