What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
