i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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