Whod you bang
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Randomize
