YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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