Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
