shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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