yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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