I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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