we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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