So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I will be naked everywhere
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize
