No awkward lesbian experiences without me
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
