do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Farmville is her only friend.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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