how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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