dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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