We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
