i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
