Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
