I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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