Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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