Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
