Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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