READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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