I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
