I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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