My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
