I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
is it fun? or sober?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
