oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I have aggressive nipples.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
