can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
