is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
