If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
