Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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