Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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