So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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