bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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