y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
