i think i have two assholes
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We need a shit load of segways right now
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
