the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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