It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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