worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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