she was so not down for the gang bang
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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