You can't motorboat a personality
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
