who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
