It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
