the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
