i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
