i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
