Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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