I want to stick my p in your. b.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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