Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
