talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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