I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
